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My Name’s Not “Dear”

24 Comments
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  11. Hello Dear…
    That’s what my wife occasionally calls me, to which I respond: “Don’t use your terms of enQueerment on me.” She’s using that “dear” terms in a demeaning manner, of course. Here’s another one I was alerted to a long time ago: People who call you “buddy.” As a woman, you probably don’t get called that, but I’m sensitive to it now, because it doesn’t feel like they’re really saying I’m a “buddy”–more like “jerk.” Maybe I’m over-reacting…I’m good at that.

    How’s life these days for you? I left my long term rep gig four years ago when the recession was still going strong, and after a few starts (trying to turn lemons into lemonade), I’ve given up trying to work for others.

    • Yes, thank you for sharing “Buddy.” I don’t get called that one, however, after I wrote this I thought about “Buddy” and wondered if it should have been added to the list.

      Life is excellent. Glad to hear you are doing your own thing. I miss working with you. Sending lots of good thoughts your way. N

  12. I am loving this whole article! I have a health and fitness trainer/coach who uses email and text to stay in touch. She uses terms like this a lot and it rubs be a little oddly. I don’t know if this means we are “friends” now or what. I notice she uses it with others in the fitness group too in Facebook pages. I’m not sure if it’s her way of coming across super “sweet” … but sometimes it feels fake and she uses it also to sort of put people in their place (“Sweets, please look up the video on my Instagram.. I am sure I posted it for you like a month ago!”). Even when it’s not directed at me, it catches my attention and I’m not sure it leaves a good impression. Thanks for giving your professional take on it. It has made me want to join in, I guess, but now I have checked it in with my values and will stick with what I feel is right. I can be “approachable” in other ways that are still professional.

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