How To Establish a Rapport With Male Clients Who Underestimate You

In the world of sales, relationship-building is everything.

So, what happens when you’re trying to establish a rapport with male clients who seem to underestimate you from the start? If you've experienced this as a woman in business, you're not alone—and you're not powerless.

Here’s a practical strategy you can use today to establish a rapport with male clients who may challenge your authority or dismiss your insights.

Understanding Polarity Response

Sometimes the reason you're struggling to connect with a client has little to do with you and more to do with how their brain is wired. Enter: polarity response.

A polarity response is when someone instinctively takes the opposite stance of whatever you say. You say yes—they say no. You say white—they say black. This kind of behavior can show up when you’re trying to offer advice or pitch an idea, especially with male clients who may not be used to being guided by women in professional settings.

Shift Your Language to Shift the Conversation

When you sense a client reacting with resistance or dismissiveness, one of the most effective tools is to change the way you say things—not necessarily what you’re saying.

Instead of directly offering a suggestion, soften your approach:

• ❌ “Here’s what I think you should do.”

• ✅ “I’m not sure if this is something you’d be open to considering…”

By phrasing things this way, you lower their defenses. A person prone to polarity responses might hear that and immediately think, “Of course I’m open to it!”—giving you permission to proceed.

Another option:

• ❌ “That’s never been my experience.”

• ✅ “I don’t know if you’d agree, but in my experience…”

These softening phrases aren’t manipulative—they’re strategic. You’re allowing your client to feel in control of the conversation while still moving it forward.

A Real-World Example

Years ago, I had a high-profile client with a strong polarity response. My company wanted me to pitch him an idea, but everyone was hesitant because they feared he’d reject it outright. So, I changed my language.

Instead of confidently asserting the proposal, I said:
“I’ve been asked to share an idea with you, but I’m not sure this is the right time.”

He replied, “No, it is the right time.”

Next, I said:
“I’m not sure this is something you’d even be interested in.”

He leaned in: “Tell me more.”

From there, I got the green light. He brought in his IT team on the spot to support the initiative.

Why did it work? Because I let him feel in control while keeping the conversation collaborative.

Flexibility Leads to Influence

If you want to establish a rapport with male clients—especially those who underestimate you—it’s crucial to stay flexible in your communication. The person with the most flexibility in a conversation holds the most influence. That doesn’t mean shrinking yourself. It means being savvy about how you lead the dialogue.

So next time you sense resistance, pause. Adjust your language. Give them space to step forward—and watch the conversation transform.

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