When To Accept Help
Have you ever turned down help because you felt you didn’t deserve it? Many of us struggle with accepting help for others.
Sometimes we criticize ourselves for needing help. Often we feel guilty receiving help because it seems unfair to those that don’t have access to the same or maybe we “don’t want to put anyone out” on our behalf.
Does Accepting Help Take Away From Your Own Accomplishment?
Recently I worked with one of my VIP Clients who is diligently building her business. When we got to the exercise in the VIP manual on Developing Your Network, she instantly pushed back. She shared how uncomfortable it makes her to accept help from others. Her response isn’t uncommon. Many of my clients struggle with accepting help from their network of connections. There is a process I guide them through which usually gives them a reframe about the exercise and gets them excited to give it a try. However, this client was particularly adamant about not wanting to complete the assignment.
As with all my suggestions and recommendations in my work, everything is optional for the client. They get to decide what we work on and what we don’t. However, her response was so strong that it got me curious. With her permission, I asked some more probing questions. She shared how she had quite a few people in her network that have significant influence in their fields. These people have reached out and offered to help her. She feels it is unfair to accept the help since she hasn’t done anything to “deserve” it.
She then went on to say that she didn’t want people to think less of her if they found out she had received help. She wants to make her business a success without the help of these influencers.
We ended up agreeing to table the exercise and focus on other strategies for growing her sales.
What would you do in her shoes? Imagine that you have big influencers offering to help, they are able to open doors you can not open on your own and they’ve expressed a deep desire to support you. Would you accept the help or would you hold firm and decline the support?
Feeling Envious Of Others’ Opportunities
It’s interesting how sometimes we feel envious of others who’ve been given help by people in their families, their circle of friends, or some other resource. Sometimes we even think, if only I had that kind of support, I do could (insert your big dream here). Yet, we forget to look around and appreciate the people in our own circles who would willingly support us if we would only accept it.
Being Grateful & Accepting Help
Two weeks ago I made a list of people in my life that I have access too that consistently offer me resources, support, and advantages that I would not have on my own. The purpose of making the list was to be sure I was showing gratitude to these people. I thought about the incredible advantages that these people offer me in my personal life and in my business. It was a long list.
These are all people that I have built relationships with over the years. The help has shown up in many forms just in my business alone. These people have made introductions, offered advice and expertise, and been willing to share my business with others. Even though I am classified as a Soloprenuer in my business, there have been many people who’ve contributed to the success of the business. I did not get here on my own and any future success will not just be mine alone.
The purpose in sharing this is to encourage you to take a look at the people you have access too and be willing to accept their support, resources and help when it’s offered. I’m not implying that you bum-rush these people and ask them how they can help you. As a matter of fact, that is discouraged. What is encouraged is when help is offered, whether you think you “deserve” it or not, be willing to allow others to do for you.
Open A Door
Think about how you might offer your own help to someone right now who would benefit from it. Open a door for someone who wouldn’t be able to open that door on their own (take this to mean either a literal door or a figurative door – just help someone). Experience how amazing it feels to do something for someone else. And then remember that amazing feeling the next time someone wants to help you. Allow them to have that same amazing feeling when they do something nice for you.
We are not meant to do this on our own, life and business. It’s a shared experience.
Wishing you continued help in all areas things.